Just another ordinary day in this extraordinary life.

Should I be back?

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It’s about half a year since i was in here rambling about something, and life been pretty tough these past few months, lots of downs and lows. The second half of the year shall not be a reflection of the first haf, in fact it shud be exactly the opposite. Ok maybe not all of it, just maybe the bad parts. I’ve had enough of depressing moment and need to get off this sinking ship. A change is in order but most importantly the courage first to make that change happen and the determination to keep that change in motion. Enough of hiding behind computer screens and drowning sorrow in food.

Works been bad. Start up companies are always a rick cos u never know if they can make it or not. It was a good risk in the beginning i tought until things get bad. So much for calculating risks. I’m reaching closer to breaking that nerve and just drop everything and flee away just to get somewhere peaceful to gather my toughts. Going out on my own, not having to leave my fate to other but take it into my own hands. It’s always been something i wanted to do but i’m also reasonable enoug hto know i cant make it happen anytime soon, i’m not fully prepared and i need more time. Until then i should learn the art of being patient. Looking at how life throws all these difficult painfull moments at a friend and seeing her take those in stride and making it work for her just gives me the inspiration i need.

A visit to an indian astrologer recently gave me hope. Now normally i would laugh at the things they would tell me about my future, this guy read me like a book. He assured me i was on the right path and for a short time i felt really peaceful someone could actually relate or at least feel what i was going through.

Why do people feel the need to live their lives in the eyes of others? Why are we afraid of what people have to say? Are we so afraid how people jusge us? I dont know why but it really bothers me when i need to hold myself of expression my happiness or sadness just so people dont jusge us for it?

I’m determined to change and change i will.


Written by yogendrakumar

July 19, 2009 at 7:57 am

Posted in Life

Tagged with , , , , , ,

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